Day 197- I Passed The Test

Last night my progress with controlling my anxiety was tested. My brother comes home around the same time from work almost every night. 9 out of 10 times I hear him come in, but last night my mom and I didn't. So, in the middle of the night he still wasn't home. Both my mom and I called him and he didn't answer. We knew he was going to a friend's house after work, but we also knew he had work this morning so he wouldn't be late. Immediately I went into my old ways.

My first thoughts were he was in a car accident or he was arrested. There were no other explanations. As soon as I thought this though I recognized I was going back to my old thinking. I was going directly to my catastrophic thinking. As soon as I realized this I took a step back and looked at the situation from a more logical place. If he had been in an accident we would have had someone come to the door and tell us. If he had been arrested we would have received his one phone call. There must be another explanation why he was late.

I was able to keep myself from spinning out of control. I put up a road block and went down a different path. Instead of going into full blown anxiety mode, I went into a slight worried mode. I was in a mode that manageable and not debilitating. I decided to give my brother another call and this time he answered. His friends and him decided to watch a movie and he had fallen asleep. He had put his phone on vibrate during the movie so that is why he didn't answer it. It took awhile for him to realize what the vibration was.

After we realized he was alright my mom and I went back to bed. In the old days, even with everything good again, my anxiety and adrenaline would be so high I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep. Last night though I was able to. I did make Tyson get back on my bed so that I could cuddle with him, but last year even that wouldn't help. Now, it was just the little extra comfort I needed. I may not have earned an A+ last night, but I definitely passed one of my first real anxiety tests I've had in awhile.


Day 197- Happy Halloween

We have a row of 3 bushes leading up to our front door. This will be a cute idea on Halloween night to let trick-or-treaters known that we are passing out candy.