Day 188- 20 Years Later

I mentioned earlier this week how I bought The Little Mermaid on DVD. Well this afternoon my mom and I decided to watch it. It was funny because I probably haven't watched the movie since I was 8 years-old or heard the songs in the movie very often over the years, but I knew every word of every song still. I wasn't amazed but my mom was.

That's the thing, memories and events in your life can last forever. Sometimes things just stick with us, and unfortunately they aren't always good things. It is holding onto the bad memories that trigger issues of depression, ptsd, anxiety, and other mental health conditions. Now and then, no matter what we try to do we just can't get away from it.

For me, one memory I know that will stay with me forever is actually one of my earliest memories ever. After my heart surgery when I was 5 years-old, I remember waking up in the ICU. I don't remember everything, but I remember it was dark, I was near the corner of the room, and my mom was there. Not the best memory to have as your first memory of life.  And the thing is, I have hundreds of other memories just like this from childhood.

It was memories like this that played a part in my anxiety. I knew I had been through situations, far worse than a simple little intestinal obstruction. I was able to get through them without much problem, so why did I have such a problem getting through my most recent health issue. My memories of strength made me feel weak. I felt not as strong. I felt weak.

So you see, memories from the past can affect how we handle things in the future. My recent memories that have been created from my time of anxiety and depression can be unpleasant. For me though, I plan on using them as a reminder. A reminder on how I was able to push through, how I knew when I needed help, and how I was strong enough to share my story. It will be a reminder that will help me to recognize the signs if this issues ever come back, and know I can and will survive.


Day 188- Scary Story- This scary story can be explained in four words: THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT.