Day 333- Storm Watch 2014

It has been a very wet day in Southern California today and it is suppose to be worst tomorrow. All the new stations are covering it as a hugs story. I just know all the people in the Midwest and back East are laughing at us. They have had terrible weather, but if you watch our news stations you would think it was 10 times worse outside here than anything they have had to deal with.

 I saw a clip on Jimmy Kimmel where he was talking about this week's broadcasts. Take a look and see how Californians deal with rain.

Day 333- Love Notes

There are two quotes from the book Message in a Bottle that I just love. So I'm sharing both of them.

Day 332- Feel The Progress

For me the coolest part of this entire year is when I have been able to notice the changes. Being able to see and feel the progress is one of the best feelings in the world. This happened to me last night.

One big item for me that I wanted to work on this year is to finally RUN a 5K. I will admit I haven't been as fully dedicated as I would like to, but I am still trying. In order to get prepared I downloaded an app on my phone to help me. Now you are suppose to slowly increase the amount of time you run on a weekly basis. Like everything else when it comes to change, you have to go at a pace that is right for you.

For me, being able to increase my pace and stamina by running only 3 days each week is not something that would be realistic. I knew that even before I started so I am not being hard on myself or getting discouraged. In my reality a "week" is actually 2-3 weeks since I can run only 2 days per week. This is okay with me.

When I started 2 weeks ago, by the middle of the workout I was struggling. I felt like I could never catch my breath and I wanted to quit. I pushed through, but it was not easy. Last night, however, there was no struggle. I didn't feel like I wanted to stop in the middle. I wouldn't say it was easy, but I didn't think it was hard. So I have one more day on my "week" before I go to the next level.

I felt so proud of myself last night. Even though I set a goal of running a 5K, in the back of my mind I doubted myself. After last night though, I now know that if I keep up with it I can actually do it. That little evidence of progress is enough to make me want to keep with it. The same goes with keeping with  what I have been doing in regards to my anxiety and depression. Seeing the progress I have made this last year makes me wanting to keep pushing on. The feeling or pride and seeing progress is a feeling I won't mind having all the time.


Day 332- Love Notes

Day 331- It's Gonna Rain

Rain is coming to Southern California. If you're from here you know it's a big deal. For whatever reason when it rains people freak out. They forget how to drive and every news station is overloaded with "Storm Watch!" This year it is extremely important because we are in a drought so we desperately need a lot of rain.

For me it's a big deal because this is the first big storm since I started working at my current job. Disaster emergency, specifically water damage, is what we are known for. We have spent the last two days prepping so no matter what comes, we should be ready for it. It will be a great way to test my anxiety and stress levels if it gets busy. The nice thing is I already know that no matter which way this storm goes, I will be able to handle it.  

Day 331- Love Notes

Day 330- Zzzz Zzzzz

Last night I slept terrible. I just couldn't fall asleep. I remember the last time I looked at the clock it was 1 A.M. That wouldn't be bad, except I went to bed around 10 P.M. and I wake up at 6 A.M. for work. In order to avoid that tonight I went to the gym. For some reason I sleep so well on the nights I work out. And I think I will sleep pretty well tonight because as I am typing this, my legs feel like Jell-o. I speed walked for 20 minutes and then did 4 different legs machines. Now lets hope I can move tomorrow.


Day 33- Love Notes

Day 329- What's Wrong With These Photos??

Thought we could all use something funny today. Enjoy the video below!!

Day 329- Love Notes

Day 328- Happy Birthday E!!

Normally on my family members birthdays I write a post about them. Yesterday was my middle nieces 14th birthday. Unfortunately by the time I got home from the baby shower and birthday party I had yesterday, I was miserable because I have been sick the last few days. So today, I will devote this post to my wonderful E!!

E is the second daughter of the brother and sister-in-law. She definitely looks more like my sister-in-law's side, but is probably the only one of my three nieces that is the best mix of my brother and his wife. I don't really remember exactly how they told us about having E, but I do remember being excited. Since my oldest niece and E are fairly close in age, I was only 14 years-old when she was born. 

Now I don't want to brag, but E was probably one of the cutest kids there has ever been. She was always so happy and smiling. Her big teeth and chubby cheeks were adorable. Even at a young age, she was always so willing to help out. I know if I need help with something, I can always ask her and will get help right away with no complaints. That's just who she is. She loves to help and she really cares about people.

Another amazing quality about her is how good she is with kids. Whenever I watch her at track practice or at church, all the little kids want to play with her and ask for her. She will do amazing in life if she takes that gift and quality with her and goes with it. Unlike the rest of her family, running isn't really her thing, but she is an amazing swimmer. She also looks at things in such a different way than most, which is why she is probably so creative. She is a true lefty; the only one in the family besides me. 

Out of my nieces I think E has helped me the most. Just like her auntie, she tends to worry a lot. It has helped me not to feel so crazy and alone knowing I'm not the only one in this family who worries. She also has a really special connection with Tyson and I love watching them play. I'm really excited to see where life takes her and all the things she will accomplish in her life. I am very happy and proud to be her Auntie Jen.

Day 328- Love Notes

Day 327- Miserable

This is the worst headache I've had in awhile. And it's all in my sinuses. My throat now not only hurts, but itches as well. So, it's 8:30 on Saturday night and I'm going to bed. Hopefully a good night sleep will help me to feel better. The best thing about all this though, my health isn't great and I'm not anxious about it. Progress for sure!!

Day 327- Love Notes

Day 326- Jump, Jump!!

Tonight myself, my mom, by brother, my sister-in-law, and my nieces went to a trampoline place in out town. It is a huge area that has 3 different trampoline sections. One is just a bunch of trampolines together, one is a bunch of trampolines to play dodgeball in, and the other is a trampoline into a foam pit. We did this as an early birthday celebration for one of my nieces.

The entire time I was there the 1992 song by the group Kriss Kross called "Jump" was in my head. and of course when I think of that I think of the scene in the movie "Friends with Benefits" where Justin Timberlake sings the song. In case you haven't seen it, check it out below.

Day 326- Love Notes

Day 325- All Better

Well my headache is now a sore throat and body aches. I woke up at 3:30am with my throat burning. It's a little better now, but still doesn't feel right. To top it all off I went to the dentist today and found out I have 3 cavities I need filled. My attitude, things could be worse. And to remind myself of that, on my way home tonight I stopped off and bought myself one of my favorite meals.

Day 325- Love Notes

Day 324- Headache

When I was younger I would get headaches a lot. The reason I think was because my metabolism was  fast. It always seemed as soon as I would get hungry, I would get a headache. As I have become older I have had headaches less often. I honestly think it's because my metabolism has slowed down with age (like it does with most people). Today though, I have had a headache. I was starving by the end of work and instead of having dinner when I got home, I had a little snack and went to the gym.  Right now, my head is pounding; especially in the front of my head and behind my eyeballs.

There are a few people at my work who get headaches often. In fact, they get migraines often. I have only had 2 migraine in my entire life and they were terrible. I'm so amazed with the people at work because they function with no complaints. When I have a headache all I want to do is lay down and close my eyes. Which I plan on doing now.


Day 324- Love Notes

  

Day 323- I Hate It

I hate that my last few posts have not been things of much substance. Anytime I have written something that I can't look back on at some point and take something away from it other than that was a day I was tired, it bothers me. For me, writing as been such an outlet and a coping tool. It has helped me to get things off my chest, helped me to open up to others and myself, helped me to figure things out, and given me something to think about during the day. I think we all have things to say and contribute every day, so when I don't have much to write about I fee like I'm not using my voice.

I do know I have to give myself credit because before I started this project I told myself no matter what I will post something every day. It is now 323 days later and I have not missed one day. Some days were just posting a picture, others were simply stating "Here is my post," and that was it. But I have not missed a single day. So I guess instead of being hard on myself for not writing 323 AMAZING, EARTH SHATTERING posts,  I need to be proud of myself for never going back on the goal I set for myself. And that is the lesson from today I guess. That even when we are feeling defeated in one situation, we need to recognize the successes in that same situation as well, no matter how little.


Day 323- Love Notes

Day 322- Bad Lip Reading

Today at lunch one of my co-workers showed me these. I laughed so hard I was crying. In case you haven't smiled today, take a look at these and I guarantee you will.

Day 322- Love Notes

A Walk To Remember

Day 321- Lazy, Sunny, Sunday

This afternoon was absolutely perfect. After getting home from running errands with my mom, she decided to wash and vacuum her car. I decided to bring Tyson out front with us because it is one of his favorite things to do. I put his leash on and we went to the grass. I asked my mom if she wanted help, but she told me no and to stay on the grass with Tyson. We both rolled around, played, and laid in the grass. It was so nice to lay there, cuddled up with my puppy, and soaking up the 80 degree weather this California winter has given us. Spending time with my puppy is definitely at the top of my love list. I have said it before and I'll say it again, animals heal. This afternoon even more healing took place.


Day 321- Love Notes

Day 320- Off To The Races

Today marked two firsts for me. I went to my first horse race and I went to the restaurant Dave and Buster's for the first time.

Today a group of eleven of us went to the Santa Anita race track to watch the horse races. We found a deal online where we got box seats, a beer or wine drink, lunch, a program, and a souvenir glass all  for $30. It was a lot of fun! I ended up winning on one race for a total of $6. Now I spent $20 throughout the day so I actually lost money, but I don't care. It was fun, and the horses were beautiful to watch.

After the races seven of us decided to head across the road for dinner and games. I had always seen television commercials for Dave and Buster's and I always wanted to go, but never had. We all split a bunch of different appetizers and then we ended up playing some games. I won on a few games and got a total of 640 tickets. I got a cup, some candy, and gave the remainder to a kid.

Overall today was a good day. It's so nice to actually be able to enjoy things like this again. I love that I can go out and not be so worried the entire time. I'm not constantly wondering if something bad will happen, if I end up panicking, or if I'm simply just going to be miserable the entire time. I can just be and go with the flow.

 Before all this I definitely took that for granted. The ability to just go somewhere and have fun is a true gift. It's not until you don't have that ability that you realize how amazing it is. 

Day 320- Love Notes

The Notebook

Day 319- Happy Valentine's Day

Today is sometimes referred as National Single's Day. People will either get lumped as either single or in a couple. Well I am single. And so are two of my best friends. So them, me, and another friend whose boyfriend was getting into town late got together tonight. We put pajamas on and cooked home made pizza, chocolate covered strawberries, and chocolate covered marshmallows. They also opened a few bottles of wine. I opened a diet coke. We all gathered on the couch and put on a romantic drama called Safe Haven, which is the movie based off the Nicholas Sparks' book of the same movie. If I had to judge tonight, I would say it was perfect.


Day 319- Love Notes

Day 318- Cop Car

Today I am exhausted and don't feel that great. I woke up in the middle of the night last night with a terrible headache and was very nausea. Neither has fully gone away yet. Because of that I don't feel like writing too much. Instead I thought I would share the song that has been stuck in my head all day…. Keith Urban, Cop Car. Enjoy!

Day 318- Love Notes

Day 317- Thanks Momma

Saw this floating around Facebook the other day and thought I would share. These are definitely true of my Mom.

16 Things We Forget To Thank Our Moms for
By Kate Bailey

1. All the times she had to double as best friend/counselor/therapist/costume designer/hair stylist/coach/all-around-solver-of-every-problem-ever. I remain unconvinced that moms aren’t actually superheroes in disguise.

2. Forgiving us when we forget to call.

3. Listening to all our pointless dramas when we do remember.

4. Being the kind of person that we actually do want to become — because as we all know, it’s inevitable.

5. Having the incredible prowess only a mother whose babes have been scorned could — mama bear protects her cubs, sometimes excessively, but we love it, let’s be honest.

6. All those times we yelled “MOOOOMMM!!” through the house to find out where our white shirt was or what time so-and-so was getting home and all the other questions we just couldn’t go to Dad for.

7. All the things she reluctantly bought us at the cash register of any given store, all the clothes and things we didn’t really need (but insisted we did). Growing up and understanding the value of a dollar really makes you reconsider just how much moms sacrifice.

8. For all the home cooked meals or pizzas we didn’t have to pay for ourselves. Equally phenomenal. Equally missed.

9. Putting up with our middle school phase.

10. For giving us our siblings, whom we simultaneously once wished to sell and now are best friends with.

11. And oh yeah, for that whole “giving birth to us” thing.

12. For being our first, and at some points, only cheerleaders, who were and are proud of every little thing we do.

13. All the time she spent picking us up from practices; bending over backwards to make sure we had new cleats and costumes; and were at every game, rehearsal, and play date we planned.

14. Doing her best, even when things were most difficult in the family. Moms have this incredible magic sparkle glue that keeps it all together when it would otherwise fall apart.

15. Dealing with Dad.

16. Being the boss woman of the house (and of our lives). And for being living proof that there truly are people who can honestly just do it all.

Day 317- Love Notes

Day 316- Bubba

After writing about my older brother last night I realized I haven't really talked about my younger brother too much. He and I are three years apart. Not only do we look completely different, but personality wise we are pretty different as well. I love school, he hates it. I am not a fan of being on my own, he loves it. I love country music, he hates it.

Growing up we were like a normal brother and sister. We got along, but we would have our moments of fighting. When I was about 19-years-old till about 23- years-old we were very close. We had the same friends, we liked the same music, and we hung out all the time. As we have gotten older we have grown apart a little bit. Our likes have changed, some of our views on life are different, and our friends are different. That doesn't mean I love him any less though.

One thing that my brother and I have in common is that we both have issues with anxiety and depression. The difference though is how we have handled it. We both have done what we each think is right for us, and we will most likely deal with it on and off our entire lives. It definitely has made things difficult for each of us in our own ways, but it has taught me a lot about him.

My brother has one of the biggest hearts I know, but he doesn't always show it. Those who don't know him very well probably think he is "Mr. Tough Guy," but deep down he really cares about people. He is an extremely hard worker and doesn't like to let people down. He definitely likes being independent, but I think he will end up with someone who he can take care of and who will take care of him. He is definitely a typical Gemini in that he likes to have a hand in everything whether it is sports, music, or clothing. He is extremely creative and would do well in a job that fostered that.

Like a lot of older sisters I tend to think I always know what is right for him. I often feel like I act like his second mom at times. But ever since I found out that my mom and dad were having a little brother for me, I have felt the need to take care of him. Ultimately I know he is now a "man" and doesn't need to be taken care of anymore. Like every older sister my one wish for my baby brother is for him to be happy and to know how much I love him.


Day 316- Love Notes

Nights in Rodanthe

Day 315- Happy Birthday Wes-A-Lee!!

Today is my older brother's birthday. When I think of him I think of how amazing he is. I'm so impressed with what a great dad and husband he is, how hard working he is, and how I seem to always have fun when I'm around him. Overall, I'm so thankful for him and the fact that I actually have a relationship with him.

Things could have been a lot different between us. He is technically my half brother and he didn't come to live with me until I was 1-years-old. He is also 13 years older than me, so I didn't technically grow up with him too much. He was already away at college by the time I was old enough to start remembering events from being a kid. I do remember though when he would come home from school and visit. He and my younger brother would wrestle for hours. I remember watching them and occasionally trying to join in.

After he graduated college he lived up north for awhile. I was just starting high school when he moved back down south with his wife and daughter. Eventually he moved back to where my entire family lives now. This time he came with his wife and now three daughters. It wasn't until the last few years though that I started hanging out with him and his family on a regular basis.

To me, my older brother is one of my heroes. He has worked so hard for all the things he has. He always puts the people he loves first and will do anything for them. Like a lot of other people, he has had some downs in life. He easily could have let his downs keep him down but he chose to rise above. I probably don't tell him enough, but I really do love him and I'm grateful I get to call him my big brother.


Day 315- Love Notes

    

Day 314- The Night That Changed America

Right now I am watching the Grammy special on The Beatles. The CBS television network is airing a music special on The Beatles because today marks the 50th anniversary, to the day, that The Beatles performed for the first time on American Television. Now I know the "British Invasion" started and ended way before I was born, but that doesn't mean that I have no idea who they are. 

I had heard who The Beatles were from my parents when I was growing up. I know I heard their songs on commercials, television shows, and the radio as a kid, but I didn't realize it was a Beatles song. It wasn't until 2007 when I saw the movie Across The Universe that I heard the majority of their music. The movie is basically a love story set during the 1960s and uses The Beatles' songs to tell the story. I fell in love. To this day that movie is one of my favorites; not only because it is a great movie, but because shortly after that I started downloading their music. 

It is amazing to think how much they accomplished and how much influence they have had on the world. The most amazing thing, they were only a band for 10 years before breaking up. That may seem like a long time but people like Tim McGraw, Britney Spears, Eminem, and Maroon 5 have all been around for over 10 years already. It may seem like The Beatles were around for much longer, but that is because they also were so successful in solo careers as well. 

Watching this special I can't help but wonder what it is like in their heads and through their eyes. I wonder if they truly realize the impact they had and how much influence they have had? Did they ever think that they could have that much of an impact when they started? And did they ever think that 50 years later they would still be relevant? I think the answer to all of those questions is no.

We never know the impact we will have on this world. We never know what the future holds or what is in store for us. All we can do is embrace that mystery and try our best to be our best. I don't know if I may ever have an impact like The Beatles have had in our world, but I also know that I won't. That uncertainty is pretty exciting, don't you think?

Day 314- Love Notes

The Wedding

 

Day 313- Night In

The last few days it has been cloudy, cold, and raining. I know compared to the rest of the country that doesn't sound so bad, but for California it's not fun. It started out nice this morning, but it is back to being cloudy and cool. It has become warm blanket and cuddle weather. So, tonight it will be night in.

As soon as I am done with dinner I plan on going to the nearest Redbox to rent a movie. I will then come home, turn the fire place on, get my pajamas on, and cuddle up with Tyson and a blanket to watch a movie. It's nice to go out and do things, but it is also nice to stay in sometimes.


Day 313- Love Notes

Day 312- Winter Olympics

I got home from the gym just in time tonight. I missed the opening of the Winter Olympic games, but came in right when the parade of countries began. The only problem, it makes me feel so uneducated. I haven't heard of half of these countries, let alone know where they are. I got to see my country, the United States of America, and the country all my family is from, Canada.

It was nice to see all the different outfits the countries had. The nicest thing, though, was to see how the majority of athletes look like me and you. It's sometimes easy to forget that people are people, no matter where we come from.


Day 312- Love Notes

A Walk To Remember

Day 311- Time Flies

I remember growing up time seemed to move so slowly. As a child, Christmas Eve was the longest day ever. As I got older, it always seemed to be so long before winter and summer breaks would happen. Even after high school, my college experienced seemed to move at a speed that wasn't slow, but definitely wasn't fast either. Ever since I have graduated college, however, time has just seemed to speed up.

For me, it is crazy to think that in just 16 months, I'll be 30 years-old. When the heck did that happen!?!? I have noticed though, ever since I have started working full time, time goes by even quicker. I love the fact that work seems to go by quickly. It means that I actually enjoy my job and I'm not board. But the days just seem to fly by. I wake up, get ready, put in roughly 8-9 hours at work, come home, eat dinner, walk Tyson, shower, get all my things ready for the next day, write my blog, relax and watch television for about an hour, and go to bed. That is my life Monday thru Friday. Every now and then I'll throw in dinner with friends or an event, but I feel like the day goes by so quickly, I don't have time for much else. The weekends don't seem to go by any slower. I get the majority of my chores done Saturday plus random plans, and Sunday is church, relax a little, and then get ready for another week.

I know it is not just me. It seems like almost everyone I know feels like this too. That is probably why there is the saying "life is short." Maybe life it's not short though, maybe time is too fast. Sometimes I wonder if the days were 36 hours instead of 24 hours, would it not seem like things go by so fast? Since we would have more time to do things each day, would we feel like we were doing and experiencing more each day? I know this is not possible, but I think it would be cool if time were to slow down just a little. If it did maybe then there wouldn't so many people, myself included, who feels like there just isn't enough time each day to get everything in.


Day 311- Love Notes

Day 310- Progress

Well I made a dent in some of the things that were bothering me yesterday. I went through the unopened mail on my desk, I put away the books and nail polish on my dresser, and I cleaned out my purse. My bed still hasn't been made and my laundry basket is still full. I also haven't gone through to balanced my bank ledger. But just like I did today, it's important to remember even a little progress is still progress.


Day 310- Love Notes

Day 309- Chaos

Right now I feel like my life is in complete chaos and that I need to get my life together. The reason may not be why you think. I feel this way because my room is dirty. Now I'm sure the majority of people who would walk into my room right now would disagree. But for me, who is total Type A personality and borderline OCD, it is dirty. I have unopened mail on my desk, I did not make my bed today before leaving for work, my dresser has books and nail polish on it that needs to be put away, and my dirty clothes basket in my closet is filled to the top.

Not to mention, my purse is in need to be cleaned out as well because there are papers and what I consider trash in there. Also, it's been awhile since I verified and balanced my personal bank ledger with my online statement. Instead of freaking out about all these things that I need to clean up and get done so that I not feel like my life is a mess, I'm going to ignore it. I'm going to curl up in my unmade bed and watch shows I have taped on the DVR. that's healthy, right? I'm sure I'll get to it tomorrow, but tonight I'm going to not let it get to me and relax. The truth is, by not freaking out about it and realizing that those things are not the deciding factor on if my life is a mess is healthy. In fact, my life is more in order than it was this time a year ago.


Day 309- Love Notes

Day 308- Back At It

Tonight I am going to the gym for the first time in months. I probably haven't been to the gym since I started my current job, which was back in July. I stated at the start of the year, I am determined to run a 5K this year so I knew I better start going. Right now I feel good, but I'll let you know tomorrow if I feel the same way. Who knows if and how sore I may be.


Day 308- Love Notes

From A Walk to Remember (my favorite Nicholas Sparks book and movie)

Day 307- Super Bowl

Today is America's favorite holiday- Super Bowl. My brother and his family are coming over for food and football. None of us really care who wins (we are all Saints, 49ers, and Raider fans). So we will eat some yummy food and figure out which commercial is our favorite. But we are most excited to see Bruno Mars preform at the half time show. Everyone in my family enjoys him and is excited. If his performance is anything like this we are all in for a good show.

Day 307- Love Notes

Day 306- All By Myself

I didn't mention this earlier for safety reasons, but since Wednesday my parents have been in Arizona visiting family and friends. They came back this afternoon. I definitely was nervous about them leaving. Now I know I am 28 years-old, but I don't particularly like being home at night alone. I'm fine being alone at night if I'm awake. I have a hard time sleeping. I'm such a hard sleeper, it makes me nervous. If something were ever to happen, I probably wouldn't hear it. At least if someone else is home, they would be an extra set of ears.

I actually did alright alone. Now my brother was home too, but he often works nights and doesn't get home until late. I fell asleep pretty easily though, which surprised me. Of course I fell asleep on the couch instead of my room, but still. I slept, alone at night, without much issue. This may not seem like a big deal, but it is HUGE for me. Not just because of the recent issues. This was the first time in 28 years I felt comfortable enough to go to bed with no one home.

I have never liked being alone, and even though I was okay with it the last few days I would still feel better with others home at night. Now the next time my parents go on vacation, I won't be worried about it. I know now it will be fine. I will sleep alright, and it's not too lonely. The last few days have been a big step for me, not just with my anxiety but in life.


Day 306- Love Notes

To me, one of the greatest love story writers out there today is Nicholas Sparks. Every girl has read at least one of his books and every guy has been dragged to a movie that was made from one of his books. I decided since the month of February is often known as the love month because of Valentine's Day on February 14th, I would post quotes from Nicholas Sparks books. I've heard the theory that you get back what you put out in the universe, so by putting out love I hope to get love back; Love from family, friends, co-workers, God, and anyone else who might be out there.

The Notebook