Day 79- I Made Myself Feel What?

This morning was crappy. I ended up going home from work sick. The thing with anxiety is sometimes it's hard to distinguish if you are actually sick or if it's just a side affect of the anxiety. For me when my anxiety is high I will feel nausea, I'm pretty tired, I get hot and cold flashes, and I can get dizzy. This sounds very similar to the flu. Obviously, if you have experienced anxiety there are other factors as well that help distinguish it from just being sick. However, the last few days I can't tell if I have been sick or if my anxiety is high.

Yesterday my anxiety was the highest it's been in awhile. Unlike the past when my anxiety would be high consistently throughout the day, it sort of peaked and lowered during the day. I'm not sure if the not feeling well the last few days was just the high anxiety my body hasn't been use to for awhile and it was a little hard on my body. I guess we will just have to see tomorrow.

The reason why my anxiety was high was because myself and a few others got into a disagreement and a few things said by others really bothered me. Everything is fine now, but I was upset and bothered most of yesterday. I could easily blame them and say that they know when a disagreement happens between us it gets my anxiety going. But there is a cliché saying out there that "No one can make you feel anything, only you can."

I kept saying this to myself yesterday and tried to figure out why what they said bothered me so much and why I was giving MYSELF anxiety about it. I think it's because I feel protective of both people and I don't like when they are in a disagreement. I'll often put myself in the middle and try to get each of them to see the others point and come to a compromise, but that doesn't always work. I guess when it doesn't work instead of them being mad at each other I feel like they are mad at me. They very well could be, but I know that's probably not the case. I guess I just don't like when people I care about aren't getting along.

This is something I know I will have to try and work on. 1.) Not allowing others to affect me and just focus on myself, otherwise I might back track on my progress. 2.) Not always trying to be the peace keeper because I am often the only one who gets bothered by it.

I will give myself credit though for actually diving in and trying to see what was the root of the anxiety was. A year ago I wouldn't have done it.

Day 78- Photo a Day Challenge- Beach Throw Back

Here is a picture of me at the beach in Florida. It was probably one of my first times ever at a beach. It's funny how things change because as a kid I hated the beach. I hated the sand on my feet, and now the beach is the one place I feel calm and peaceful. You could say it's my happy place.