Day 356- Still Have Doubts

One thing I have learned is that I still have doubts, especially when it comes to religion and God. I'd be lying if I didn't say I have had moments of absolute certainty about God, and that it was the belief that someone was looking out for me and church that helped me to get through this. But like all humans I'm not perfect and I still don't have an unshakable faith. But the thing that separates me from others is that I want to and I'm going to work at it and seek out what ultimately is the truth for me. 

One thing I have learned is that I 100% believe that everything happens for a reason. I haven't learned though what I think is behind that. If everything happens for a reason, then there must be a plan for all of us. We all must have a path for a lives. So who is the one that determines that path? Is a creator? Is that path determined before we are ever born? These are the questions I still don't know what the answers for myself are. 

For me, the hardest part is when I read the Bible. The stories seem unbelievable to me. Then again, aren't they suppose to be? Wasn't Jesus larger and greater than all of us? I do believe there was somebody named Jesus alive at one point. I do believe he must have done amazing things and was an incredible man. I believe he created a following and taught people how to live a good life. A life where we are good to others and who have hope and belief in something greater than ourselves. Those facts I am sure of. 

Another thing I have learned and that I can't shake is the fact that once I started opening up to the idea and possibly of God was when things changed for me. When I started going to church, reading the Bible, listening to worship music, and being around others who are believers, things got better. To me, that is a sign that Jesus and God are real. When I started opening up to God and seeking Him was when I started to get better. I don't know where my spiritual journey will  go, but I know that I am open to it and learning more about it.