Day 264- Not Ready Yet

The other day I went to my doctor that has been monitoring me while I've been on my medication. She asked me how I was doing and how I thought the medication was working. I told her I had been doing well, but this past week my anxiety has been there more than it has been in the past few months. I mentioned earlier this month how December was a very rough month last year and I was a little nervous about it. I know I have had those memories in the back of my head almost every day. I also have realized that with the holidays I have not been eating very well. Lots of sweets, desserts, and soda. She did mentioned that often memories and our eating habits can definitely have an effect on the anxiety. She was concerned that I was allowing it to escalade and was slowly allowing the depression to come back as well. I told her no, that even though the anxiety has been there, I have not allowed it to escalade past a certain point.

I have done this by recognizing why the anxiety is heightened. I have been mindful of the fact December is hard.( Side note: The holidays are the times anxiety and depression rates are highest). I've also been mindful of my diet. Because I have recognized and accepted the reasons behind the heightened anxiousness, I've been able to control it. It is the recognition and acceptance that I have learned are my biggest tools in not letting myself go over into the anxiety deep end.

My doctor did give me suggestions on how to get some of those food toxins out of my system. She explained that when we are putting "junk" in our system our bodies have to take good nutrients our body stores and needs in order to get what we need to function properly. When we get rid of the "junk" our bodies can keep the good stuff right where it needs to be. She suggested I take warm baths with Epsom salt and lavender oil, or drink a cup of detoxifying tea each day. She also said the easiest way is to get back to eating healthy.

Before I left with her she asked if I thought I was ready to start weaning myself off my medication. I told her I wasn't. Even though things have been A LOT better, I still want to have a good solid year under my belt. Also since the end of last year and beginning of this year were tough, I want to get through that time before I start. It's ironic, one of the biggest issues I had to overcome was my acceptance to needing to take medication. Now I'm nervous at the thought of not needing it. I know it's natural and that one day I will be ready, but right now I know it's not the right time. And I'm okay with that.  


Day 264- A Christmas Story

It was during this small talk that I learned the man sitting next to me was named Nick, he and his wife didn’t have any children of their own but fostered children often, and that he had a job that caused him to travel a lot, especially during the end of the year.