Day 45- A Few Rough Days

The last few days have not been the best. It's weird because my anxiety has been heightened, but it's not as bad as it use to be. So even though the last few days have been a little tough, they are not as tough as they use to be.

Part of the reason it has been tough is because the last 2 days I've woken up feeling anxious. I know the reason behind it is because I've had a few bad dreams the last 2 nights. One involving my mom playing with a black widow (I have an extremely huge fear of black widows- not spiders, just black widows), and then I had another dream where it was wildly busy at work and I was trying to figure out who stole stuff. I know these don't seem like bad dreams, but they got my adrenaline going enough that it bothered me.

I feel like I have become better at controlling my anxiety if it happens during the day, but I haven't be able yet to figure it out when I wake up with it. It seems like when I wake up with it it ruins my entire day and lasts most of the day if not all day. As a result I loose sleep, which makes me tired, which keeps the anxiety going.

It doesn't help that a lot is going on with the 2 things I worry about and love the most, my mom and my dog Tyson. My mom has a doctor's appointment this Friday. It's nothing special, but after her lymph node/cancer scare almost 2 years ago, all her doctors appointments make me nervous. Then last night Tyson cut his lip and we aren't too sure how. We decided to give it a day to see if it would heal on its own or need to get it looked at and we decided tomorrow morning to take him to the vet. I'm just hoping it won't need stitches.

So you see, its been a bit stressful the last few days for me. I know once the vet and my mom's appointment is done I will probably sleep better and the anxiety will subside. In the meantime I will keep taking moments for some slow breathing, some positive thinking, lots of praying, and being mindful of what is the root of the worry. And even though I've done these things off my love list a few times already, I think tonight they are very fitting.

Day 45- Thing I Love to Do.......Watch tv with my mom & cuddle time with Tyson.