Day 37- Sweet Tooth

I've never had much of a sweet tooth. I would much rather eat a bag of chips than a candy bar. Sometimes though,after a long day at work, a bowl of ice cream is just what I need.

Day 37- Thing I Love to Do...... Eat ice cream

Day 36- 0.2475% Progress

Did you know if we want to change in a timeline of a year that we only need to change less than 1% every day before we change 100%? One way I have noticed change this past year is with my dog, Tyson (yes, I'm writing about Tyson again but it's important).

Ever since Tyson was a puppy he has had a mole on the back of his leg. We have brought it to the vets attention and he has not seemed too concerned about it. It hasn't grown too much, it doesn't hurt him, and he doesn't play with it. We could have it removed, but Tyson is also allergic to stitches. When we got him neutered was when we found out this allergy after a terrible time he had after the surgery.

Tonight we had an issue with Tyson and this mole. Some how he hit it and cut it. It was bleeding a lot. We had to clean it up with a wet washcloth and Bactine, and then we placed a plastic cone on his head that we kept from his neuter surgery. Needless to say, it was on ordeal.

In the past, this type of situation would send my anxiety through the roof. I would be so worried about it not being able to stop bleeding and him getting an infection. There were a few times when he was a puppy that he would get sick because he can have a sensitive stomach. I would almost have a panic attack every time. I would feel helpless because he couldn't tell me what he needed and there wasn't much I could do than just watch him.

Tonight I was fully aware that there was a change. I definitely was still stressed while trying to clean his cut because I could tell he was panicked, but I didn't go into a panic like I would have in the past. I think part of it was because I was able to draw on past experiences when he was sick and remember that he was ok. I also think that I was able to self talk myself. I kept staying to myself, "Don't panic, you'll cause Tyson to panic more. He will be ok." I just kept saying that over and over, and it worked. I even kept saying this after we cleaned him up and I kept myself from panicking after.

So today I continued my quest to changing 100% in how I react to my dog being sick/hurt. I think I may have gone up 10% and not just 1%. :)

Day 36- Thing I Love to Do........Watch Ellen.

Day 35- 5 Things

Since today is Cinco de Mayo I thought I would post 5 things I did today.

1.) Went to church today with my mom, aunt, and friend. Today's message was about how to not just fall in love, but how to stay in love.
2.) Went for a run today to work on my 5K goal. I was able to run almost 1/2 mile without stopping!
3.) It's Cinco de Mayo, of course I ate Mexican food at one of my family's favorite places.
4.) To celebrate my aunt and sister-in-law's birthdays my mom and I treated them to pedicures.
5.) Met up with my girl friends for pizza night and tv night.

Day 35- Thing I Love to Do....... Get a pedicure.

Day 34- Puppy Love

I know I have already done this a few times, but it should be #1 on my love list.

Day 34- Thing I Love to Do....... Cuddle time with Tyson.

Day 33- First Thing Off My Bucket List Completed

I can officially say that I can cross number 78 off my bucket list- inspire someone. This morning I woke up to an email from an old college classmate. In it he opened up to me that he reads my blog. He mentioned how touched he was and that I have taught him things. He explained that he was a fan of mine and that I should put on my Love List "Inspire People" because I have truly inspired him. I won't go into anymore details of the message because it is private, but it really meant a lot.

So here is to crossing off the first thing on my Bucket List!

78.) Inspire someone

Day 33- Thing I Love to Do.........Catch up with old friends.

Day 32- Let the Training Begin

One thing on my Bucket List is to do a 5K run. For anyone who knows me this is a HUGE deal. I normally repeal physical activity. I could even say I hate to do it. After I started having to go to physical therapy for my back, I didn't hate it as much. After that time ended I purchased a gym membership to go workout with my sister-in-law. Not only would it continue to help out with my back issues with keeping up my core workouts, it was another way for me to hangout with my sister-in-law.

I've also had this little goal in the back of my head a few years ago when I watched my older brother finish a marathon. Watching everyone it was inspiring to see everyone cross this finish line. It brought tears to my eyes multiple times. My goal is to do a color run with my friends on June 22 and then the 5K in November in my city with family members. Everyone had a different reason for being there; different goals and struggles on their path to the finish line. For me, I just want to do something that I never thought I would and that I know will be hard for me. And I'm sure when I cross that line there will be tears in y eyes.

SO, today I ran/walked for 10 min.......I started by walking 1 min, running 2 min, walking 1 min, running 2 min, walking 2 min, and running 2 min. It wasn't easy, but I did it.

Day 32- Thing I love to Do.......Go to Dinner with Friends.

Day 31- Changes

There are going to start to be some changes to my blog coming up. The last few days my anxiety has been pretty bad and its made me reevaluate how I want this blog to go. Before I started this my intention was to do things I've been wanting to do for awhile, try new things, challenge myself, face fears, change my focus, and grow in the process. I wanted to learn new things about myself and find out things I didn't know before. I mostly wanted to take this chapter of my life, the life of living with anxiety and mild depression, and put it behind me. All I've done these past 4 weeks though is continue to talk about it. That's not moving on, it's reliving it.

I also thought I would be doing a lot of new and exciting things that I would be wanting to post every chance I got, but the last few days I feel like I'm obligated to do it, not that I want to do it. I know I can't do something fun and exciting every day because I have a job and other responsibilities, but I feel like my last few posts I've been searching for inspiration. I feel like I've just been writing stuff, but not necessarily giving it my all.

I also think the pressure to teach people things I've learned in therapy and on my own has put a lot of pressure on me. It is definitely pressure I've put on myself, which is often worse than other people doing it. I did want to teach and hopefully inspire someone, but not in the way I have been. Don't get me wrong, I think I have done well with trying to teach, but I don't want to try and make each post a lesson, then it will become like a text book. I want others to see what I've been doing and take their own lesson away. Because even if someone is on the same path as me doesn't mean their journey is the same.

Day 31- Thing I Love To Do.......Talk to my Auntie Lysa