Day 274- A Complete Story

This month I wrote a Christmas story one sentence at a time. I thought since it was the end of the month (and year) I would just post the story in its entirety. At the very end will be the very last sentence.

The fact that I made it on time for this flight is a Christmas miracle in itself. Not only did I oversleep, traffic to get here was terrible and the lineup for all the holiday travelers seemed never ending. If I had missed this flight it would have been horrible because this is the first time I have gone home for Christmas time since moving out five years ago. It wasn't that I didn't want to go home for the holidays, but being the personal assistant to a big time music executive doesn't always allow for time off. With my boss going home himself this year meant that I got to go home too. 

To say I wasn’t nervous about this trip home would be a lie because I was very nervous. I'm not nervous to see my family, I'm nervous for all the questions that I know they will be asking. They will ask questions like, “How’s work,” “What’s your apartment like,” “ How can you live in such a big city,” “What are your friends like,” “Any cute boys around,” and “Are you happy out there?” My answers will be, “Work is demanding and exhausting,” “The city is nice, but something you have to get use to,” “I barely see the two friends I have since I work so much,”  “ There are a lot of cute boys, but I don’t have anytime for them,” and “Define happy.”

The truth was I had been so unhappy lately I had been debating if I should pack up my things, move back home, and start all over. I was hoping that my seat on this flight was next to someone who didn’t wanted to talk as much as me so that I could spend my entire 6 hours on this flight and do nothing but think about what I was going to do. As I walked to my seat I was happy to see a man, probably my Dad’s age, already laying back looking like he was sleeping. I decided I would try the same thing seeing as take off is always a little nerve racking for me. I thought this trick of falling asleep before take off might actually work until I felt the plane starting to back up. 

“In and out, just breath in and out.” The man next to me was no longer sleeping  but  instead was looking at me, breathing in and out, trying to get me to copy him.  I followed his lead because something about him made me automatically trust him and feel safe. Whatever he made me do was exactly what I needed to get through the initial take off because by the time we got to the cruise section of the flight I felt calm and relaxed.

It was about three hours into that flight when I was pulled out of my thoughts by the man sitting next to me because he asked, “Are you going home for the holidays?” I told him I was and asked if he was as well which is how the small talk between us began. It was during this small talk that I learned the man sitting next to me was named Nick, he and his wife didn’t have any children of their own but fostered children often, and that he had a job that caused him to travel a lot, especially during the end of the year. He made it so comfortable to talk that I even opened up to him and told him I was so unhappy lately and was contemplating moving back home. 

Nick asked me, “ Do you think if you moved back you would regret it and be even more unhappy?” I hadn’t thought about it or been asked in that way, so when he did it took me back a bit. Would I be happier if I moved back home or would everything be the same just in a different place? The next hour of our flight both Nick and I sat in silence while I thought about the things that make me happy. To be honest there was only one thing that truly made me happy and that was being around the people that I loved and that loved me back: my family and friends. As I got up to walk around and stretch my legs I figured out that the real reason I had been unhappy lately was because I had been away from the people that make me happy for so long. As soon as realized this I walked back to my seat to tell Nick, but when I got there he was gone. In his seat there was a note instead. 

Day 274- A Christmas Story

It read, “ Sorry about leaving before the flight was done, but I had work to get to work and I knew you would figure out the answer to your question before the flight was over; enjoy your family tomorrow on Christmas and good luck on your move back home- Sincerely, Saint Nick.”

Day 273- NYE Nails

Today at work I chipped a nail. Naturally that means I have to completely redo them because I can't have chipped nails going into the new year!! They are pretty simple, but that's how I like them. I can't handle all sorts of designs, rhinestones, and multiple colors. Glitter is about as crazy as I go. Check out the results below.

Day 273- A Christmas Story

In his seat there was a note instead. 

Day 272- Purpose of Life

Today I was reading my book by M.J. Ryan entitled Attitudes of Gratitude: How to Give and Receive Joy Every Day of Your Life. I have talked about this book in the past, but something I was reading today really stuck out. She wrote, "You are an amazingingly rare, totally nonreplicable individual with talents and gifts that the world anxiously needs. The more that you experience the truth of your uniqueness and beauty, the more you will feel gratitude of your particular gifts, and the more you will be able to deliver those gifts."

The above section I pulled out was part of a chapter that discusses that we all have a purpose. For the longest time I would hear the sayings "Everything happens for a reason" and "The is a reason why we are here." I would hear them but I wasn't too sure if I believed them. A lot of the times when people say these quotes there is some kind of religious undertone to them. Since I didn't grow up with religious beliefs, I didn't put much stock into the ideas.

It wasn't until last year when my younger brother and I were taking a walk. I was having a particularly terrible day and just needed to get out of the house. My brother agreed to go on a walk around the neighborhood with me. I can't remember what we were talking about but I know it was a deep conversation about what was the reason and purpose of life. I remember him saying to me, "There is a reason we are here, you specifically. All the health issues you've been through. You have literally died on an operating table and came back to life. You are suppose to be here." I still remember exactly where we were on our walk when he said that to me. It was the first time I actually believed the ideas that we are here for a reason and that everything happens for a reason. It was my atheist brother that made me finally believe that there just might be a Creator, a God, out there who has a plan and a reason for us. Talk about irony.

A huge part in my healing and overcoming the past few years is that I think I have figured out the reason for my anxiety and depression. I may be completely wrong, but even if I am it doesn't matter. It is right to me and has helped me heal. I believe the reason why I initially got my bowl obstruction is because I was suppose to develop anxiety from it, and ultimately have that lead to depression. Without it I would have never met my therapist who would encourage me to go through with my idea of writing this blog so that I can share my story and hopefully help. My gift, I believe, is my ability to write.

As far as my purpose here, I'm still not sure. I'm not sure I'll ever know and that's okay. I hope though that it is to make a difference in some one's life; whether it is someone I have already met or some one I will meet. It can be through my writing, lending a caring hand, sharing the tremendous amounts of love I feel I have inside me, or giving a loving home to a child or animal in need. Whatever it is, I just want to make a positive impact no matter how large or small.


Day 272- A Christmas Story

As soon as realized this I walked back to my seat to tell Nick, but when I got there he was gone.

 

Day 271- Quack, Quack, Quack

For Christmas my brother bought tickets for him and I to go to the Ducks hockey game. The game was today and it was a lot of fun. We left early to have a late lunch at a restaurant we don't have where we live. We even had enough time to go to the team shop at the arena and buy a few things. I bought a new shirt and my brother bought a new jersey. It was nice being able to spend time with him and to top it all off, the Ducks won in overtime!!

Day 270- A Christmas Story

 As I got up to walk around and stretch my legs I figured out that the real reason I had been unhappy lately was because I had been away from the people that make me happy for so long.

Day 270- I Shouldn't Have

I shouldn't have gone to meet my friends for dinner tonight. Now I'm tired and unmotivated to write. Instead I want to just curl up on the couch, put a movie on, and read my trashy celebrity gossip magazine I got in the mail today. Then again it was nice to get out of the house and spend an hour or so with a few friends because next time I see them will be in 2014. Crazy.


Day 270- A Christmas Story

To be honest there was only one thing that truly made me happy and that was being around the people that I loved and that loved me back: my family and friends.

Day 269- Another Happiness Journey

A few weeks ago two friends of mine left on a journey on a lifetime. They are high school sweethearts and two of the best people I know. A few months ago they realized how unhappy they were with their jobs and knew that it was time for a change. So they decided to sell their house, sell their cars, sell the majority of their possessions, and quit their jobs. With that money they decided to take the time to travel the world and see where the next 6 months to a year take them. They planned the first few weeks of their journey and are starting out in the Philippines. After that, they are going to go wherever the journey takes them.

As a way to keep all their friends and family updated on their journey they made a special Instagram account and are writing their journey on a blog. I read it last night. I am so proud, and a little jealous, of them. It's so inspiring to see others who I consider friends on their own journey to happiness.  It just shows me how capable we all are to making a change in our lives. It is never easy and can definitely be scary, but we all have that power in us. Whether it's traveling the world like them or seeking help like me, as long as you take that chance a change is possible. I can't wait to see what else their journey has in store for them, and I can't wait to see what mine has in store for mine.


Day 269- A Christmas Story

The next hour of our flight both Nick and I sat in silence while I thought about the things that make me happy. 

Day 268- Merry Christmas!!

Merry Christmas from my family to yours!!

Day 268- A Christmas Story

Would I be happier if I moved back home or would everything be the same just in a different place?